My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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