Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
