Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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