you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
