She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
