This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
