it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
is it fun? or sober?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize