I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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