very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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