Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
