can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
