I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
