So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
