i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
