Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
