You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
