The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
