Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
