Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
