Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
