It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
