fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
