I wish I could teleport
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
