no you cant smoke seaweed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
