Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The chlamydia really affected his face.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
