moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
