Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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