I will die if light touches me.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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