guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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