I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
