Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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