Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
