we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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