So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
