woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Randomize
