This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
