who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
