girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
