Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
