I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i barfeds in our rink
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
