D3 body, D1 cock
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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