Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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