ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do herpes really smell.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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