Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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