Pappa wants mamma naked
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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