I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
