i would punch a child for taco bell
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
