I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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