drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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