there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
