How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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