uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
