He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
