Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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