So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
