In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
