So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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