I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
